Saturday, February 14, 2009

Over Reactions

I think that everyone just needs to shut up and let me type how I want to. Screw home row. These hands are now homeless, but not like the angry homeless hands that just want your money for beer. More like the artistic ones that later become famous and everyone says, “Wow, those hands were homeless and now they own the whole keyboard!” The entire keyboard is my canvas. And my masterpiece… a delicious feast for the eyes and mind, that can only be consumed by desire- deep heartfelt desire. Burning like a fire devouring everything in its path. But not like a destructive path. More like a cleansing fire like at the end of the Lion King. So yes you heard me. My hands are like a beautiful and delicious cleansing fire. 

Girls are tricky. You have to watch out for them cause sometimes they make you completely miserable. And the other times, it doesn’t end up working out. Some girls are like that song you hear one the radio. You know the one by the Fray. At first you liked it and sang out loud to its conceptually catchy and whiney tune. But after hearing it so many times you want to ram burning Q-tips in your ears just to get them to be quiet. Plus that song took your hoody and you really want it back. ( oh so that’s how to save a life)

But in all honesty, I like girls. Sometimes one special girl. What makes her special? Well I don’t know if it’s her eyes when she laughs or if it’s the feeling I get when she walks in to the room. Or maybe its cause every time I see her it feels like Christmas morning and each smile is a precious gift waiting to be unwrapped, and I know I have been good that year. Or possibly it is because everything beautiful in my life reminds me of her, as she is the model of beauty. My sun rises and sets on her face, and pure unadulterated love permeates the chasms of my heart. But probably it’s because she lets me tongue kiss her (very rare).


But right now I’m single. I used to be in a singles ward but now I am in a student ward. So I dunno which direction I am going. I’m pretty sure it’s a positive thing cause what I wasn’t doing used to defined who I was. (I wasn’t getting married so I was single). But now I am a student, which is code for poor, hungry, in debt, and yes, still single. 

Yeah I go to college. Wanna know what college is like? Its kinda like when you were little and had to go to the dentist. You knew it would suck but you wanted the certificate so you could be in the “no cavities” club. Plus you couldn’t eat for a while after.


No I am not a looser- and I have over 650 Facebook friends to prove it.


Quote walls- Ok here is the skinny on that, just so you girls are aware.

1)    No it is not original.

2)    Any one could write any saying on a wall and yep….still wouldn’t be funny.

3)    It is a poor attempt to show visitors how funny you are(aren’t) and how many friends you have(don’t have) and how funny they all are(aren’t).

“Oh my heck did SaraBeth really say that?! Must have, its on the wall”


Ok its your house so do what you want, but me, I am going to fill my walls with unquote walls. I like to write down everything that some one hasn’t said. Then when some one does say it, cross it off the wall.

“The Sam’s club on Neptune ran out of scuba gear because a yeti ate my sandwhich”

That’s just an example, so if someone were to say that then we’d cross it off.


Scrabble is a fun game. It gives you a rare opportunity. If you win, then its one of the only two times in life you can be a winner and a looser at the same time. The other time is Employee of the Month (Demetri Martin 2006).


Black people. I fail to see how they can dominate every sport and yet make such horrible music videos. Oh let me guess, rapper, sporting all sorts of “ice”, booty girls, fish eye camera lens, pools, cars, dolla bills. That’s it. Just once I’d like to see something new in a rap video. And maybe more booty girls.


How come we have different breeds of dogs but different, races of people. Why not races of dogs or breeds of people? People aren’t prejudice against different breeds of dogs. They may have preferences perhaps, but they wouldn’t blame a pitt bull for high crime rate or a Chihuahua for so many illegal immigrants. If we just switched up our lingo a little we could save a lot of hate.  Maybe its something Obama could look into. Also he should look into fixing the rap videos.


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